Review by Andy Valentine
This is it. I have finally discovered the most derivative, unoriginal album of 2007. Like, wow, an LA band that sounds like a million other bands that came before them. Go figure. Honestly, “derivative” may even be an understatement. “Ashes,” the opening track of 5FDP’s debut, doesn’t just “sound” like Pantera. It is Pantera.
Literally.
Note for note, “Ashes” is “Hell’s Wrath,” off Pantera’s 1996 masterpiece, The Great Southern Trendkill. I’m not saying it sounds kind of like “Hell’s Wrath.” I’m saying that the chorus riff is the exact same chorus riff from “Hell’s Wrath.” Ivan Moody even hit the exactly same notes and progressions and Phil Anselmo. When the chorus comes, you’ll notice it is stolen directly from 36 Crazyfists’ 2001 tune “Turns to Ashes.” 5FDP is so unoriginal they kind of even kept the same name. Honestly, it’s pretty shameless. And, musically dishonest, if that’s possible.
5FDP is a band that rocks the old “dirty verse-clean vocal” metal style on every track. No shit, every single track on this album has the exact same formula as the one before. 5FDP isn’t so much a metal band as they are a caricature of one. Is pretty damn difficult to take this band seriously.
All that said, this album does kind of kick, in places. And I have to admit, I caught myself bobbin’ my head back and forth a couple times as I played through this record. The candylike double bass and Pantera-infused riffing is a little infectious. I think I even caught myself singing along to 5FDP at one point. But I felt guilty about it afterward. And a little dirty too.
As a genre, metal isn’t really known for innovation. It’s seldom you’ll hear a new band and go “Goddamn, I ain’t never heard anything like that before.” So, I suppose you’ve gotta break some slack to 5FDP for being lazy songwriters. I’m sure going into the creation of this record, the members of 5FDP didn’t have the lofty goal of crafting metal musical stylings that would shake the genre to the core. It’s not what they set out to do at all. They wanted to make a clean, overproduced, safe metal album that mall kids would buy. And to that end, I’d say they’ve succeeded.
It’s just that right now there is so much more exciting stuff going on in the genre to spend any of your precious few minutes on earth listening through the same album you’ve already heard a million times over the last 15 years.