Review by Stephen Pedicino
If you like your metal to be raw, alcohol-driven, and spewing from the mouth of Satan, don’t waste your time with this review! But those akin to artistically heavy music or something more unique have much to find within this band called Epica. If you don’t already know, this symphonic metal force was formed in 2003 by Mark Jansen after his departure from After Forever. As lead guitarist and composer of both bands, one can easily hear the resemblance between Epica and After Forevica’s earlier works.
With two albums under their belt, this Dutch ensemble has unleashed another work entitled The Divine Conspiracy. If you’re experienced with gothic metal, the naked Simon on the cover should surprise you about as much as another Iraqi car bombing on Yahoo news. I can’t be the only one who has noticed that the cliché of hot chicks on gothic metal albums has grown beyond reasonable proportions! Not that I’m voicing complaint, but if your band’s music is good there shouldn’t be a need to seduce the audience into buying your album! I’m sure the average Epica fanboy has enough posters of Simone to drool over for days to come (Not that Steve would know! Of course not!!!) But anyways, onto the music….
It all begins with a predictably theatrical intro that would fit well in any emotional montage of Frodo Baggins. The opener, “Obsessive Devotion,” then starts with enough drama and power to rival any Epica track. Operatic vocals and beastly growls exchange leads….. lively classical strings accompany a chugging guitar…..a choir chimes in…. You’ll soon realize that Epica haven’t forgotten that formula that produced two very fine albums. A terrific opener with some good breaks in the middle.
The adrenaline only increases with “Menace of Vanity.” The double bass strengthens, and the screams of Mark become increasingly brutal. Overall, it’s a blistering song with a straightforward orchestration. By this point it seems that Epica have turned up the overdrive and injected some extra heaviness into their sound. Just as I realize this, I hear the balladesque “Chasing the Dragon” soar through my speakers. It’s long and I must say predictable, but it serves the purpose of dividing the speed of the album.
“Never Enough” is the most commercial sounding track off the record, thus it came as no surprise that it was shot for a video. The song is about a woman who is “fed up” with her cheating boyfriend, an she ain’t gonna take no mo’ shit. She waits for him at a restaurant while he is shown in bed with some other broad. The guy arrives irredeemably late, and she walks out because she suspects unwarranted naughtiness of his behalf. The video is well done, but I can’t help but be objective about the situation. I mean, lets hear both sides of the story! She could be really weird or fucked up, like she eats her own bugars or something. If you found out that your girlfriend has a bugar fetish, wouldn’t you cheat on her? I’m just saying……
Things quickly get heavy again with “Death of a Dream.” “Living a Lie” is a bit of a filler, but still listenable. Such misanthropic song titles! ? “Fools of Damnation,” clocking in at 8:40, start out with an Arabian or Middle-Eastern flavor. It has the feel of a standard Epica track, but midway through we’re treated an amazing instrumental section that leads into some of the most powerful and dynamic music ever made by this group. The crescendo at the five minute mark actually got me so pumped that I started dry-humping my mattress. No joke. This WILL occur if you’re not careful.
It should be noted that Epica’s music doesn’t feature the most diverse guitar work. There are hardly any solos, and most of the notes get pretty repetitive after a while. If you expect the same type of guitar virtuosity from other symphonic metal bands like Therion and Nightwish, you will be disappointed here.
“Safeguard to Paradise” is another symphonic ballad, but it doesn’t manage to get too boring, at least to me. I’m sure some will find it bland though. Not every moment can be a vivacious symphony! At this point you’ve probably noticed that the title track, “The Divine Conspiracy,” has a length of 14 minutes. If you enjoy epic songs like I do, you should be tingling with anticipation.
“Sancta Terra,” meaning holy ground (I’m a genius, I know), is a beautiful little song with an uplifting vibe. The lyrics essentially describe how a sacred place grants wishes and dreams previously confined by mortality. A bit corny but still a good song.
The Divine Conspiracy delivers exactly what you would expect – EPICNESS. If you’ve grown tired of the album by this point, then you probably won’t survive all 14 minutes of this behemoth. There really isn’t anything distinguished about the track aside from its length, much like there is nothing distinguished about Paris Hilton aside from her overactive vagina. It pretty much summarizes what Epica stands for. The song that is.
The orchestral arrangements are strong and layered, while Simone continues to sound beautiful behind the mic. The guitars and percussion seem a bit louder this time around also. However, I was hoping that Epica would offer a little more diversity this time around. The album has that bombastic sound we all love, but its very similar to their others. Of course, I’ve always found Epica to be a tad self-duplicating. Thats often the result when there is one person composing most of the music. But if you’re a fan of the genre, and especially the band, you should be satisfied with this release.